Goals & School

For some reason, I feel like I need to talk about school and stuff. I kept feeling like I needed to write and I'm unsure why. Maybe I'm on this weird spiritual kick to share some thoughts that I've been having. I think sacrament and the CES fireside had something to do with it.

Starting with Sacrament. The talks today ended up being about setting eternal goals. I found these talks rather intriguing and they had me thinking. I have never been the kind of person to set goals. A lot of things have come easy to me (like grades and talents), and I've now realized that I have become a bit lackadaisical about them. Things haven't improved in ways that I would like them to. I feel like my laziness has actually hindered me. I think the most powerful evidence in not being able to get into animation.

I love animation and always will. I have noticed, though, that I get sad while watching some animated movies lately. I'm so mad at myself. I was given a wonderful opportunity to be part of something unique; something some people would lie for. Twice. TWICE. And what did I do? I let my laziness consume me. It's been hard for me to be excited about anything anymore. I'm letting depression win and I'm sick of it. SICK OF IT. I want to have goals. I want to be something more than what I am now. An almost 23 year-old with no job, no license, and nothing to show anybody. Pathetic. I think it's time to stop drumming to the same beat; it's time to make goals.

I want all of these by the end of the year:

1. To be better at scripture study. I've read a chapter of scriptures every night for the longest time and I feel like it's time to change the game. I need to find a different way that encourages me to be more involved in my study.
2. To have my prayers be more meaningful. I feel like doing this will not only help me be able to communicate with Heavenly Father better, but will help me to trust in Him more. I think that's why my depression shows up more lately in not understanding why I have a different major.
3. To be a better friend. I feel like I really need to do this. I often think that I'm not a good friend. I don't communicate with my friends as much as I should.
4. To be better at writing. If I'm going to be an author some day, I need to work on this important skill. This will also include typing up, editing, and sharing stories that I've written. I need to be more open if I want to improve. And I would also like my vocabulary to grow and I think doing all this will help.
   
5. To be better at my art. Although art is no longer my major, I still feel like I need to prove something to myself. My Etsy shop is a flop at the moment and I don't know what to do about it. I also want to be more committed at making more things to improve my skills more. And with drawing I know that my tablet experimentation will help this improve, as well as drawing in my sketchbook.
6. To have a license and job. I think that having both of these will help me feel less... useless. I want the ability to be independent and not have everyone do everything for me. I'm still unsure if the Disney World internship counts to this goal.
   

Now about school. So far a week of school has gone by and I'm okay about that. I'm taking four literature classes: Early British Literature, American Literature, British Romantic Literature, and Literature and Film. I have two classes a day so it's not too heavy on any day. There will be a TON of reading to do this semester though. But after this I will only have two semesters left until graduation!

I also walked into the Visual Arts office to see what could be done about a minor. Turns out that I will only need a class and a half to get it. I will need to talk to someone at the office on Monday though since one of the classes I took here isn't showing up on this record. If that goes well then I'll be able to have this minor when I graduate! ;)